Photo courtesy of Depositphotos
It’s springtime so we decided there aren’t any rules for the moment because we have too many other rules facing us right now, so we reject them! Hence, a springtime folly test. Some questions have two possible answers, some have five, and some have anywhere in between. There are a few questions about reproduction maneuvers, and we don’t mean military. Plus, we’re not counting points here. Who cares? It’s not about winning, but about knowledge.
Best part: Not one of these questions has anything to do with COVID-19 or the election. <ah, relief>
Winners, however you choose to define that for yourself (“Hey, I got one right!”), get bragging rights on social media. Or not, depending on your level of comfort with being admired from afar for your prowess in the mating rituals of the Mexican free-tailed bat. (Kidding. Bats live in caves, they don’t care when spring has sprung other than to prepare their patio grills for skewered mosquitoes.) Plus, although we didn’t include any bats here, there is a question about insect flatulence. We take your continuing education quite seriously.
Sharpen your virtual pencil, and let’s go. No cheating: the murder hornets are on standby!
1 Who does the murder hornet (Asian giant hornet) resemble?
2 How many treats can you indulge in for your dog or cat?
Less than 10% of the pet's feeding allotment
More than 10% of the pet's feeding allotment
Pizza is life itself, it’s not a treat
Whatever is desired
3 How do birds mate?
Lay eggs in nest
Press swollen cloacas together
In the air
4 What are a dog’s hocks?
Those knobby things
5 Where is a dog's cranial cruciate ligament, the one that sometimes gets torn?
6 Do bees fart?
7 What should be the mainstay of a healthy rabbit’s diet?
Leafy green veggies
8 What kind of cages are best for housing rats?
Cardboard with airholes
9 What does a potbellied pig’s wagging tail mean?
All of the above
10 How often does a bird grow new feathers?
Once a week
Once a month
Once every 6 months
Once a year
Whenever one falls out
11 Is the black widow spider a cannibal?
Ya, you betcha
12 Who starts the penguin’s mating ritual, the male or the female?
13 Do penguins mate for life?
14 Frontline is toxic to which species?
All of the above
15 How often should an indoor bird be bathed?
Once every other day
Once a week
Once a month
Depends on the bird’s preference
16 Why can’t your veterinarian prescribe CBD for your pet?
FDA makes it illegal
USDA makes it illegal
Not enough testing has been done to show safety
The government has issues
17 What is syndactyly?
18 Sometimes there’s no need to touch each other to reproduce. How do fish do it?
The male deposits sperm and the female lays her eggs over them.
The female lays eggs and afterwards the male releases sperm over them.
They swim past each other and simultaneously release their sperm or eggs.
They listen to a few Broadway tunes and it just happens.
19 Hermaphrodites possess male and female sexual organs and can produce both sperm and eggs (wonder how they differentiate Tuesday night from a hot Saturday night). Which of the following species is a hermaphrodite?
Starfish (sea stars)
20 Which of the following drugs is not an NSAID and oh-by-the-way can kill your cat with one pill?
21 What is the largest carnivore?
22 From what language was the word carnivore originally derived from, and what does it mean?
Carnivale – a large gathering of vampires in Venice, in ancient Roman
Carnivora — flesh devourers, in Latin
Carnivorous – flesh eaters, in Sanskrit
Sarkofágo – meat eater, in ancient Greek
23 How many pet dogs does the American Pet Products Association estimate there are in America?
50 million dogs
75 million dogs
90 million dogs
More than 100 million dogs
24 How many pet cats does the American Pet Products Association estimate there are in the U.S.?
50 million cats
75 million cats
94 million cats
More than 100 million cats if you look under the couch
25 Does this mean dogs rank second to cats in the U.S.?
No, because people spend more money on dogs and more time with them.
No, because dogs are better than cats in every respect except drool
Yes, there’s a reason ancient Egyptians worshipped cats
Yes, that means cats are preferred to dogs, the numbers don’t lie
No peaking or cheating!
Line of puppies and kittens
- Spiderman. It’s all in the eyes.
- Unless you want a waddling, obese pet who can’t jump up to cuddle with you, you’ll stick with less than 10%.
- Cloacas are where birds pee, poop, and have sex. You generally can’t see them on the bird’s exterior, but at mating time they swell just enough to be able to press against each other and transfer the sperm from the male to the female. Despite wild rumors to the contrary, birds do not mate in the air.
- Hocks are a dog's ankles. So now you wanna know which joint is the ankle? It’s the one closest to the ground that is above the foot.
- The cruciate ligament is in the knee. However, recuperating from that surgery with a knee sock to cover the incisions just looks silly.
- If you can eat, you can fart, so bees can fart. Since the honey bee is a multicellular being, pockets of air can and do establish themselves in the fecal matter. When excreted, these would manifest as farts. Who is in the 6th grade now?
- The most important part of the house rabbit’s diet is an unlimited supply of grass hay. We don’t know why bunnies are portrayed with carrots so often.
- Rats should live in wire mesh cages with soft bedding. This helps prevent the feet from injury on the wire bottom of the cage, and allows the rat to create a comfortable nesting area. Solid floors are ideal, if available.
- The potbellied pig's wagging tail indicates anger, aggression, and friendliness: All of the above, the whole kit and kaboodle.
- New feathers are grown once a year. That’s why birds must preen those feathers and take care of them – nothing will replace them for a long time.
- Sometimes black widow spiders are cannibals. Black widow spiders get their name from the females' cannibalistic tendencies, but actually female western black widows only eat courting males about 2% of the time. “Only….”
- The male penguin usually starts the mating ritual and will pick out a nice nesting site before he approaches a female. But does he take her to that nice seafood place first?
- Most male and female penguin pairs will mate exclusively with each other for the duration of mating season. In many cases, the male and female will continue to mate with each other for most of their lives, although some are just serial monogamists.
- Frontline is toxic to rabbits and can be fatal.
- How often a bird should be bathed comes down to the bird’s preference, not yours. It’s helpful to offer a bath once a week, but some birds will like it more often or less than that.
- The FDA makes it illegal for veterinarians to prescribe CBD for your pet.
- Syndactyly means a cat's toes are fused together. Polydactyl means an extra toe. Cats get both.
- The female fish starts things off and lays eggs. Afterwards the male releases sperm over them.
- Earthworms and starfish are hermaphrodites.
- Acetaminophen, commonly called Tylenol in the U.S. and paracetamol everywhere else, is not an NSAID and one pill can kill your cat.
- The blue whale grows up to 100 feet long and weighs up to 200 tons. The largest carnivore on land is the polar bear, which can weigh 800 to 1,300 lbs, and can grow to 9 feet long from nose to tail.
- Carnivora means "flesh devourers" in Latin.
- Americans own about 90 million dogs.
- Americans own about 94 million cats.
- We wouldn’t touch this one with a 10-foot catch pole. Whatever you picked is correct, of course.